Ms. Vanderbilt discusses what is socially acceptable can sometimes change over night, like how in some muslim countries what was once required (women wearing a vail to cover their face) became illegal one night and was changed the next day. - Part of the Original introduction written in 1957, merely as an example of how social behavior and what is socially acceptable can change instantly.
--
As I was saying, I'm not nor have I ever been a proper lady, but I do believe in knowing what is socially acceptable and what manners should be used where and how.
I wanted to expand on my current state of being proper. When I think of a "Lady" she doesnt swear...I do...(bad habit formed from a fear of saying naughty words... now I wish I could get back to that), she wears skirts and dresses and crosses her legs at the ankles (umm... anyone see the princess diaries?)...I cross my legs at the knee and sometimes sit slouched, because I'm tired. I want to try and I definitely will.
So I read the original introduction to The Amy Vanderbilt Complete book of Etiquette, a guide to contemporary living Revised and Expanded by Letitia Baldrige. I only read the original because I dont like reading introductions.... so i figured it was more appropriate to read the one that Ms. Vanderbilt wrote originally. To me, it was a bit more interesting when I discovered that Ms. Vanderbilt is of Dutch origin (along with english, irish...). My boyfriend is half Dutch and I'm currently studying the language, so... needless to say I'm in love with the Dutch, their county and their culture. Not that her being Dutch are the only country who have to do with this book, as every country has its own society and social rights and wrongs.
Ms. Vanderbilt discusses that everyone needs this book as a reference no matter what their status in society because we never know who we will encounter and how things will change for us. She also says that some of the rudest people she has ever met have also been the most 'technically socially correct' while some who have only had common sense of how to act appropriately have been the kindest most caring and considerate people who take note of how to change their behavior based off of merely feelings of situations.
"For we must all learn the socially acceptable ways of living with others in no matter what society we move"
Etiquette not only covers manners, but how we do the things we do. Or rather, how society says we should do them. Though this may be appropriate it can also change easily and sometimes quickly.
Through this whole introduction I began to see that etiquette is not about being above others, or completely socially correct, but able to do your best in the social world. Its about presenting yourself to others in a way that shows you respect them as much as you respect yourself. I have always believed these facts about manners, because I had wonderful parents and grandparents, but also VERY haughty aunts who told my grandmother that my sister and I "though they [we] have alright table manners, are very misbehaved children and have a lot of work." This statement made me want to learn to be socially acceptable around a variety of different people, and different social up bringing. I also developed a bit of a problem from it though, where I wanted my friends to do the same, to want the same for themselves. Because of this I began telling them what they were doing wrong, which I quickly found was wrong for me to do in the blunt ways I was doing so.
While reading the contents there were a number of sections that made me excited, some that made me think, some that I know I will not need until the future (our first section, Children and Family), and some I may or may not need, (Audience with the pope, president...or christening).
I am ready to embark on this challenge!
Being proper and social acceptance changes with your surroundings, it always has because our world wouldn't be as beautiful and interesting as it is without our differences.
Sweet Dreams for now.... Wish me luck, as tomorrow will be my first of speaking more eloquently with out swearing.
Proper Kate.
No comments:
Post a Comment