I apologize

There are not enough hours in the day and I am going to have to get my schedule back on track before I can really begin to do this. I will though! I promise!

Night Off...

Im taking the night off tonight, because its friday and also because I need to do some research into the Newspapers or publications I want to apply to, as well as the images I will be using to put into my portfolio.

I thought it was only right that I state this fact, being proper and all.

I also want to talk about my challenge to quit swearing. Its been difficult but today was better than yesterday. Ive heard it takes 30 seconds or 3 times to get into a habit and 30 days to get out of it. A slow process but a good one. Ive started to notice other people swearing and how bad it sounds....

Night night for now and Happy Weekend!!

Classy Kate

Childhood...

The introduction to this part of the book discusses how a parents influence over a child is everything while the child is growing up. If the parents work towards being polite and having manners the children will emulate that.

I believe I have followed those qualities that my parents set forth for me, however I figured out the qualities I don't agree with and make asserted efforts to not to follow certain paths my parents choose to follow.

Chapter 1; Family Relationships

Is it a Childs World?

This section discusses how children should have their limits and how children should be taught to behave by repetition and doing things themselves. My mom always did this with us, my sister and me, however sometimes her reprimanding while we were acting up, made her start laughing at our silly behavior. She now wishes she had relaxed a little at times. I hope I can take a lesson from my mom in these points when I have my own children, but I know I will loose my patience at times and probably regret some actions. With all that said, I hope I can be half the mother my mom was.

There is a part of the intro that discusses how children will have their rebellious times, and I did, but my mother only really lost her cool once and it wasnt because I wanted to wear all black bondage clothing, or spikes and chains or black lipstick, but instead because I was blatantly rude and vicious to her. Ms. Vanderbilt says that as long as a parent keeps their cool but gives rules, a base and repercussions, a child should learn to be good upstanding people. Repetition however not only has to be with scolding, but with having the child take care of their responsibilities themselves.

The second part discusses shooting too high. When you expect too much of a child. This section my mom must have read, learned, memorized, implemented and made sure was lodged into my head. It discusses how children should be aloud to get dirty, make mud pies and have fun. Its part of childhood to play and get dirty. When a child is afraid to get dirty and play 'he's not normal. Adult standards have been imposed upon him with too great an effect and to the detriment of his whole life.'

When I came home with my clothes all dirty from school and asked my mom if I shouldn't have gotten dirty, she replied with "Did you have fun?" Of course I had, I was playing. She in turn told me, "I know you had a fun day at school when you come home dirty." Smiling the whole time. It was nice to read this part of the book tonight, and to be reminded of my mother and how she taught my sister and me. My father was a big influence in my life, however he wasn't big on reprimanding, and though my grandparents took care of us enough to claim part of ming and my sisters upbringing, this section really reminded me of my mother. Thanks Mom for naturally knowing the right ways to teach us.

An introduction and Society

Ms. Vanderbilt discusses what is socially acceptable can sometimes change over night, like how in some muslim countries what was once required (women wearing a vail to cover their face) became illegal one night and was changed the next day. - Part of the Original introduction written in 1957, merely as an example of how social behavior and what is socially acceptable can change instantly.

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As I was saying, I'm not nor have I ever been a proper lady, but I do believe in knowing what is socially acceptable and what manners should be used where and how.

I wanted to expand on my current state of being proper. When I think of a "Lady" she doesnt swear...I do...(bad habit formed from a fear of saying naughty words... now I wish I could get back to that), she wears skirts and dresses and crosses her legs at the ankles (umm... anyone see the princess diaries?)...I cross my legs at the knee and sometimes sit slouched, because I'm tired. I want to try and I definitely will.

So I read the original introduction to The Amy Vanderbilt Complete book of Etiquette, a guide to contemporary living Revised and Expanded by Letitia Baldrige. I only read the original because I dont like reading introductions.... so i figured it was more appropriate to read the one that Ms. Vanderbilt wrote originally. To me, it was a bit more interesting when I discovered that Ms. Vanderbilt is of Dutch origin (along with english, irish...). My boyfriend is half Dutch and I'm currently studying the language, so... needless to say I'm in love with the Dutch, their county and their culture. Not that her being Dutch are the only country who have to do with this book, as every country has its own society and social rights and wrongs.

Ms. Vanderbilt discusses that everyone needs this book as a reference no matter what their status in society because we never know who we will encounter and how things will change for us. She also says that some of the rudest people she has ever met have also been the most 'technically socially correct' while some who have only had common sense of how to act appropriately have been the kindest most caring and considerate people who take note of how to change their behavior based off of merely feelings of situations.

"For we must all learn the socially acceptable ways of living with others in no matter what society we move"

Etiquette not only covers manners, but how we do the things we do. Or rather, how society says we should do them. Though this may be appropriate it can also change easily and sometimes quickly.

Through this whole introduction I began to see that etiquette is not about being above others, or completely socially correct, but able to do your best in the social world. Its about presenting yourself to others in a way that shows you respect them as much as you respect yourself. I have always believed these facts about manners, because I had wonderful parents and grandparents, but also VERY haughty aunts who told my grandmother that my sister and I "though they [we] have alright table manners, are very misbehaved children and have a lot of work." This statement made me want to learn to be socially acceptable around a variety of different people, and different social up bringing. I also developed a bit of a problem from it though, where I wanted my friends to do the same, to want the same for themselves. Because of this I began telling them what they were doing wrong, which I quickly found was wrong for me to do in the blunt ways I was doing so.

While reading the contents there were a number of sections that made me excited, some that made me think, some that I know I will not need until the future (our first section, Children and Family), and some I may or may not need, (Audience with the pope, president...or christening).

I am ready to embark on this challenge!

Being proper and social acceptance changes with your surroundings, it always has because our world wouldn't be as beautiful and interesting as it is without our differences.

Sweet Dreams for now.... Wish me luck, as tomorrow will be my first of speaking more eloquently with out swearing.

Proper Kate.

I've never been proper...

I've never been a proper young lady.

I am very well behaved and a good person but in no way am I debutant material, though I'm not sure I want to be completely "perfect" when it comes to that world. I am intelligent though I wish I knew all of the etiquette rules so that if in some instance I have to be extremely proper, I will know how to behave.

I plan to read Amy Vanderbelts book and plan how to apply the techniques I read about as well as writing my comments on how I feel about it. For tonight though... Im going to watch TV with my sister. Ive been a good blogger tonight and written in my other 2 blogs. Dressing Classy and Shani Studios.